Everything 99¢ or less and up

I was passing by a shop in a local strip mall when a sign in the window caught my eye. In the middle, in large black print, it said "Everything 99¢." Beneath that, "or less" was written in smaller blue print and different handwriting. And finally, in the lower right corner a third hand had written "and up" in even smaller green print.

I laughed for a good minute. Now I use that phrase wherever I can - you might have noticed it on this site's homepage. It's my job title in Slack. It's my bio on mastodon. It cheers me every time I see it. I loved that sign and have never forgotten it for a couple reasons.

First, it's universally true! You could stick that sign in any store window anywhere on earth and it would work. Sure, it would be absurd in, say, a car dealership. But it would still be correct.

It's also my only chance encounter with a six-word story (technically seven, but I'm taking liberties with "99¢"). You could read the entire history of that store in those 3 lines. I keep making up backstories for the sign.

The store started life as a 99-cent shop. Life was simple. Predictable. Then one day a shipment arrives: packs of gum for 50 cents. That night, as the manager is closing up shop, they glance to their left and see the sign in the window: "Everything 99¢." Shit.

Not wanting to waste any more time than necessary they run back in, grab the first marker they see, add "or less", throw it back in the window and lock up for the night.

Time passes. More items come in. Erasers. Small pads of post-its. Ramen. All is well until the packs of ball point pens appear. $1.50. An hour or so later as the new manager is coming back from lunch, they see the sign in the window and stop in their tracks.

I can almost see them rolling their eyes and sighing with exasperation as they walk back in and pull the sign out of the window to tack on "and up."

It was just a paper sign in the window of an otherwise nondescript store in a typical New Jersey strip mall, but it's brought me years of joy.